Dating a bipolar girl
I don’t actually want undiluted spiritual experiences.
Being religious allows me to integrate these experiences into a whole life.
The idea that mental illness and divine inspiration are connected is extremely old, going back into the very roots of the roots of our language.
“Mania” itself is a Greek term that Plato hypothesized is connected to the word “mantikē” or “prophecy”.
Events become serendipitous, words and concepts flow together and apart in so many different ways, that my purely linear speech can’t keep track of them and my limited memory forgets.
From the outside, people stop being able to follow me because I’ve stopped making any sense, but from the inside, everything starts making too much sense to follow.
It allows me to be human, living my spirituality out in the quite concrete sacredness of the sacraments.
This, of course, is my own experience, but I suppose that’s part of the point.
Instead, it becomes a kind of pure experience that starts to find its way into anything I encounter.It is like somehow I am not seeing beautiful things but Beauty itself.Of course, at that point, it certainly feels as though I am directly experiencing God, and, depending on how severe the episode is, I might start even that believing I am.It isn’t a little bit of an episode left over, like residue.Rather, ecstatic bipolar episodes and everyday spiritual and aesthetic experience are made of the same stuff.
The experience is terrifying and wonderful, and I mostly want it to stop.