Dating after divorce women over 40
So we figured out – and accepted – that the right man does not magically appear when you’re ready for him.
You have to work hard to find someone you really want and really like – or, as one married male friend put it, “someone normal” (apparently normal men are in short supply).
I missed my turn long ago, so I'm not surprised at how things played out for me.
The good folks go early, and after 50 it's really bad.
Once you’ve had the pleasure of cleaning the diaper of a small screaming human, or paying 0 to see Dora the Explorer Live on Stage, you realize that you are now way on down the list of importance.
If you’ve never had kids, you still think the world revolves around you.
The stakes are so much lower than when we were in our 20s, juggling careers and the relentless anxiety of the have-it-all culture we were promised. We got the career, the husband, the house, the dog, the kids the All in Having It All. Now we've got older kids who turned out far better than we could have ever hoped; a cool job we finally feel challenges us and is worth our time; a fab circle of righteous and hilarious midlife BFFs we don't have nearly enough time to see.
" As I start to think about dipping my toe into the post-divorce dating over 40 pool, I do so with a renewed sense of my own beauty, wisdom, humor, perspective, power and choice. My problem is suddenly after hitting 40 I am being chased by men both much older and much younger than me. Why do they think a 44 yr old woman wants to date a 28 yr old guy?
A full Spin class is a bummer but not a life changer; certainly not the same level of upset as discovering your child’s racked up a cellphone bill of over 8 in one month. Being a parent, you’re used to the quick change of plans. Someone vomits in their backpack on the way to school and suddenly you are working from home that day. Yes, we’ve been married and our marriages failed but at least we had the courage to say I Do. Women so young and naive that they can’t discern their emotional disabilities. Does the idea give you a stomach ache; inspire panic, fear, self-and-other-loathing and dread? I'm here to tell you it should inspire the opposite: joy, optimism, relief, curiosity, the tingly youthful enthusiasm of possibilities. We have made peace with the destructive parts of ourselves that made choices from a place of fear, not strength. Our midlife-dating -power-glass is either half empty or half full. If you're a woman of a certain age, with kids, post-divorce, with all the wisdom, self-knowledge, confidence and experience granted by midlife, you're in the dating catbird seat. Midlife dating liberation We can do whatever we want now because we have been liberated by the desperation, the fantasies, the obligations of our younger selves and the things they mistakenly thought they needed!What’s this earth shattering, paradigm shifting information I need to lay upon you? If you are a single male, you believe that you are number one. To be a parent means to realize that what want now means nothing at all. If you’ve never had kids, you don’t understand that.
Put the coconut water on the top shelf by mistake and thought he was going to collapse in his granite perfection of a kitchen in a full on seizure. Being married before means you are brave enough to make a commitment. Don’t believe their professions that they just haven’t found “someone”. Leave these men to embarrass themselves and date cocktail waitresses who are 22.